American Idol Gone Wild

I suppose in the end it really is a numbers game but what is it exactly that elicits such compulsive behavior from American Idol ex-contestants and judges alike? (And we’re not talking about the faux drama and heartbreak from seeing our favorite Idol contestants whisked away by the whims of an American pop culture public.) First there were the rumors of Paula’s public drunkenness, and her illicit affair with Corey Clark. (Naturally, we’ll give her a pass on that one). Then there was the whole Mario Lord-knows-what-sort-of-parallel-universe-he’s-living-in Vasquez which could fill an entire blog. But now there’s this. AVN is reporting that Olivia Mojica, a season two contestant, has made an important contribution to the growing body of “celebrity” sex tapes. And if you’ve been following this fairly recent cultural-slash-sexual phenomenon, it’s all seems to follow a predictable pattern – not unlike the five stages of grief. First, naturally, there is the act. (Denial, if the sex sucks. "He just laid there!") This is followed by the discovery that the recording inexplicably has ended up in the hands of a “third party.” (Anger) Then, of course the big boys get in touch with you. (Bargaining) This, in turn, is followed by the realization that you will forever go down in history not by any important contributions you may make to society but whether or not you keep it clean downstairs. (Depression) And, lastly - if you’re shrewd – you turn your vagina into a cottage industry. (Acceptance)

(Note to Sanjaya: You’ve got a tough act to follow.)

--MOC BLOGGER

Dan Fisk - Resident TIM Stud

Off the Chin #1

The first installment of Dogspunk's "Off the Chin."
Click here or on the image for the full size version.
Nasty.
I love it.
Let us know what you think.

No Glory in Cleveland?

TIM is heading to Cleveland in a few weeks for the infamous CLAW. So Paul, Danny, and Scott were there last week doing a little scouting. Cleveland doesn't get visitors from porn companies (or San Francisco) very often and the boys were a hit.

Apparently, glory holes do not exist in Cleveland and bookstore preview booths are monitored by camera. Doesn't sound too bad except they will kick you out if you rub your leg the wrong way. And the tapes can be monitored by the police. Great place to be in law enforcement.

The Leather Stallion is one of the older leather bars in the area and has reserved seating for long time customers. Kind of like Cheers. At a leather bar. In Cleveland. Who knew?

Deco/The Edge is another local dive. Scott found this review - "The Edge is for hard core gay leather men at play. The last time I was there, there was someone at the bar receiving oral from someone else. Right out where everyone can see." I know where I'll be going.

Tat for Swag

Wanna show off your Dogspunk tats? Send images to jack@treasureislandmedia.com. If we post then I'll send you some TIM swag.

Off the Chin

Paul turned me on to this guy Dog Spunk a few months ago. He does some sick work and has a healthy aptitude for the sinister. Look out for more of his work on the TIM blog in the coming weeks.

The Dogg in Vegas

Damon Dogg recently took a break from sucking and swallowing his way across the country and went to Vegas with his band Jack Spade and the Two Deuces. Check out some pics from the trip.

The Trouble with Mario

In the ongoing realm of the public imagination, Mario Vasquez knows no limits. He has graced our web sites and made the cover of our queer institutions. But why? Is it his boy-band cuteness that has long outlived his twenty-second birthday? I think not. Or is it asexual sexuality that begs the question: Would YOU do me? But I guess the answer is no because lately, besides wanking off in a public restroom with an employee that made him the memory he has already become for some future VH1 Year in Review, Mr. Vasquez now goes to lengths not last seen since Liberace to deny his gayness. It is through these seemingly random events that one can safely conclude the only future left for Mr. Vazquez – and one that would not lack its share of admirers – is the one in porn. Can there be any doubt that the visual of Mario being fucked up the ass with one leg thrown over the side of a table is the perfect conclusion to his short, troubled – but never dull – stay in the public eye?



--MOC BLOGGER

More from Mr. Plastination

From: Tom XXXX [mailto:xxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, April 02, 2007 9:36 PM
To: jack@treasureislandmedia.com
Subject: RE: FW: xxxxxx xxxxx suggested I write to you

Thanks, Jack for the post. It's interesting to see so many guys are so intolerant of anything but their own sense of order.

I do understand that not many men would actually do what I'm about to do. That's okay. Sometimes, a man has to strike out on his own path. And other men (women, too) might be interested if not fascinated.

I have finished a regimen of about 20 laser tattoo removal treatments to erase an old one on Elmo's head. Yet this week, I plan on getting a detailed coverup tattoo done, because the laser treatments failed to completely erase the old tattoo.

After the new tattoo heals, I would like to do a lot of photo and video work. Some friends in Phoenix want to take a bunch of novelty photos of Elmo done up in different characters. They think that numbered prints will have value after Elmo's cut off and plastinated.

After that, but before the surgery, I would like to discuss doing some videos with you.

Immediately after that, we will have the surgery and the plastination work will be done. The TV production company out of London will be doing a documentary on the entire process of before-during-and after. It should air first on the BBC.

Please advise if you think getting some footage of Elmo and his balls while still alive and "in their natural habitat" could be useful to you.

I am into the exposure.

Bigger and Badder

Drinkin' My Own Sperm

A recent posting on WFMU's Beware of the Blog posted a link to a free mp3 for a 70's tune called "Drinkin' My Own Sperm." Ya gotta love that.

Here's a blurb from the post -
"Research revealed Alvaro Peña-Rojas to be somewhat of a beloved father figure in the DIY scene of the 70's', having been in garage bands in his native homeland of Chile in the '60's, he moved in on the punk scene in the UK 70's in Joe Strummer's pre-Clash 101ers, finally relocating to Germany where he resides today near his beloved Konstanz Lake. "Drinkin My Own Sperm" apparently was somewhat of a hit in German gay disco clubs at the time, though the huge discography that ensued in years to follow remained sadly below the radar of most underground afficionados.

Next Stop – The Porn Zone

Have we turned a corner? Has Vice-President Dick Cheney uttered some prescient words that only those in the pornographic know have realized for some time now? Has porn reached critical mass?! I say, dear sir, we have. And how did I reach this monumental conclusion? How did I, a mere dot on the intellectual landscape, arrive at this epiphanous juncture? Well, watching Sunday’s Desperate Housewives sure as hell didn’t hurt. I guess their writers have been stretched thin by popularity since new episodes have been about as common as Malaria. So in this past episode we were treated to a mélange of their “greatest” moments from seasons’ past. But one very telling moment involved Bree about to get eaten out by Dr. Orson Hodge. And while this all may not seem very shocking now – probably even less so with a major star attached to it – cunnilingus has reached a level of acceptability on mainstream television. (Not to mention a degree of respectability, too. After all, what is Bree but the quintessential middle-class housewife?) But between primetime clitoral stimulation and rock star sex tapes and Italian guys with hard-ons wanking off in showers before national audiences, culture has opened up its eyes and its prurient curiosities to discover that pornography has passed the through the gate. The question now is – where is it headed?




--MOC BLOGGER

The Shit Never Stops

49. Shitty end of the stick
50. Tough Shit
51. Shit yea!
52. Shit faced
53. Shitter
54. Fuck that shit

More Shit

Damn you guys are quick.
Here are the shit updates.

42. Shit or get off the pot
43. He/She/You/I didn't do shit
44. Shit happens
45. I feel like shit
46. Jack shit (my personal favorite)
47. Bollock shit
48. Fuckin' shit

The office is full of shit today.

Frank just suggested "Shit disturber."
Paul responded with, "I am the authority on shit! And I say NO!"

The Shit List

What do Damon Dogg and Paul do as they tool down I-5, heading to LA for some scathing fuck action? They played with finger puppets for a while, leading to some serious swerving.



And they discussed popular phrases that use the word "shit."

"I was saying 'I shit you not' for some reason," said Paul. "We started compiling a shit list and came up with about 25."

By the time they got back to the office yesterday, the list had grown to a very decent 41.

Can you add to it? If you can, you'll get a TIM t-shirt signed by Damon Dogg hisself!

I shit you not!

THE LIST:
1. I shit you not
2. You're shitting me
3. Cool as shit
4. Ape shit
5. Holy shit
6. Don't give a shit
7. Oh shit
8. Take no shit
9. (he's/she's/it's) the shit
10. Shit hits the fan
11. Eat shit and die
12. Shit from shinola
13. (I don't/can you) believe this shit
14. Like shit off a shovel
15. No shit
16. No shit, sherlock (we're not sure this counts as a separate phrase, but we all like Sherlock Holmes too much not to include it)
17. Up shit creek
18. Piece of shit
19. Shit-for-brains
20. Shitty
21. Dumb shit
22. Don't pull that shit
23. Shit head
24. Shit-faced
25. Shit-hole
26. Some crazy shit
27. Shit out of luck
28. Shit pit
29. Bullshit
30. You're on my shitlist
31. You don't know shit
32. Shit a brick
33. Built like a brick shithouse
34. Shit-eating grin
35. Scared shitless
36. Eat a shit sandwich
37. Got the shit beat out of him
38. Shit-kicking
39. Shit rolls downhill
40. A pyramid of shit
41. A shitload of (trouble/fun/etc)

The evil Professor Morris

From: xxxx xxxx
Date: March 30, 2007 11:24:04 AM PDT
To: paul@treasureislandmedia.com
Subject: Villain

Dear Paul,
Every time I think of you, I am reminded of Professor Tomoe from the cartoon Sailor Moon. Professor Tomoe was a villain who stole people's hearts in a plot to destroy the world. (Not that I'm implying you're a villain. But if you were, that would be pretty cool.) We never saw Tomoe's face. Just a shadowy figure with glowing glasses and a crescent shaped smile. His anonymity always makes me think of you. Here are some pictures of him.